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“DON’T HANG OUT WITH BOYS.”
“PEOPLE WILL CONSIDER YOU CHARACTERLESS.”
“GOOD GIRLS DON’T DRESS LIKE THIS, THEY DON’T DRINK OR SMOKE TOO.”
Remarks like these filled my childhood so that I would know all the rules to ‘survive’ in this bad world. Thanks mom and dad and of course, my relatives! But, I turned out just fine even after NOT following these rules.
Dhruv Deshpande, a student of Narsee Monjee Institute of Management penned a beautiful yet thought-provoking letter which is addressed to us, the younger generation. He urges us to question our parents because they are wrong.
Dhruv’s letter echoes the sentiments of an individual who has been subjected to a lot of judgments set by society.
Here’s what he has written:
My mom once asked me, “Dhruv, you aren’t dating any girl… you aren’t gay, right? (smiling) Right? (stops smiling) Right?”
This happened a couple of years ago. What followed was a one-hour argument, starting with “What if I was?”
After breaking through various barriers,
“But it’s not natural”
“Okay, but it can be cured”
“Okay, but I hope you aren’t”
“Okay, but what about grandchildren”
“Okay”
We finally got to: “Are you? It’s okay. You can tell me.”
(And also “Dhruv, you can’t find a girl because you’re fat”. I ignored that. One social issue at a time!)
Which brings me to my point: As a youngster, the biggest service you can do to society is telling YOUR parents they’re wrong. And man our parents are wrong. They’re wrong a lot.
My parents have taught me a lot. They’ve encouraged and inspired me endlessly, and surely are the coolest parents I know, but the most important thing they’ve taught me is to question authority, even theirs.
I have many close friends who regularly share liberal anti-racist, anti-sexist posts online, but have accepted that they won’t, for example, “get married outside their community”. You aren’t helping. You are the disease you so righteously claim to be trying to cure.
While preaching peace to our generation, we ignore our parents’ generation, where, even in the most open-minded homes, phrases like, “look at her clothes”, “these <insert group/religion/caste here> are all the same”, are uttered in not-so-hushed tones.
Today, the biggest propagators of the notion of rape culture, caste system, racism, islamophobia, homophobia etc are your parents’ generation, however, latent it may be. Do not ignore it because you think you’re respecting your parents. You aren’t. You are disrespecting them by letting them become socially irrelevant.
If you trace it, squash it. Let it be an argument, a fight, a standoff, but don’t give up on your parents by silently letting them be carriers of social evils.
So, stop preaching online. Look behind your computer screens at the wrinkled little lovable bigot you’re living with. If you love them, tell them they’re wrong. They’re wrong a lot.
Let’s make the world a better place, one parent at a time.
He must have raised some really uncomfortable questions but his opinion must have struck a chord in your heart.
Didn’t it?
Source: FacebookÂ
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