Fixing things.
Wanting to fix things is a great trait to have as a human. It makes you more likeable and anyone who comes in your contact cannot stop praising you as an exceptional caregiver. But where does this stop? Too much of anything is a bane and you should know where to stop.
Here are a few things that happen when fixing things becomes an obsession and why you need to realize it in time.
1. You decide even the smallest of things in your life depending on how it might affect others.
Your thought process disallows you to think just about yourself in even the simplest of matters like deciding where and what to have for dinner or what to wear. The smallest of your decisions depend on what opinions others have on them or how your actions will affect those around you.
2. You think if you don’t take care of it, no one will.
You don’t trust anyone with anything. You don’t think anyone is as capable of handling things as you are.
3. You keep trying to achieve some unknown goal of helping lives.
You become so maniacal about helping people that it seems like you’re in a race to reach some invisible goal, a number of people helped in your life.
4. All the nurturing keeps pouring out of you with no one for you to break down in front of.
You become that person who every comes crying to but you are left with no one to cry in front of, no one to show your wounds to.
5. You become the self-appointed tear wiper of the people around you.
You become that person who cannot bear tears in another’s eyes are always ready on one foot to wipe em off irrespective of whether they want you to or not.
6. You develop an unhealthy fixation with surrounding yourself with people you could fix.
You start collecting people like souvenirs of fixed and look for more people albeit unconsciously, to help them.
7. You don’t wait and see if the person you think needs fixing, thinks so too.
You don’t stop for a second and consider if that person wants you to fix anything or not, you just jump in, head first.
8. You spend too much time fixating on the problems of others than your own.
You invest too much time in fixing everyone’s problems that you forget that you have your own life to live and it cannot be so perfect that you have nothing to worry about for yourself.
9. You fail to realise that they need to figure it out themselves.
Everyone is capable of fixing themselves, you just have to give them a chance. You can help them, but not always in the manner you want to. Distance sometimes helps more than proactiveness.
10. You fail to see that maybe they just wanted to be heard and that’s all the help they needed.
Sometimes all one needs is emotional support. Nothing else. Words are sometimes enough and sometimes silence is even better.
11. You become more of a controller than a fixer.
You become paranoid about everything being a mess and your nurture gene goes into overdrive and this will take you down a dark, dark road, trust me.
12. Your intention might be of fixing it, but you might just make it worse.
No one is questioning your intentions, let me clear this first hand. But sometimes in an attempt to make something right, it can go into the direction of wrong at any given point.
13. Fixing becomes the one and only thing that makes you proud of yourself.
Your self-esteem takes a toll and the only thing that is left with you is your ability to make others feel better. Love others, but don’t forget to love yourself first.
14. You fail to realize that your idea of right and perfect cannot be everybody’s idea.
Everybody thinks differently and every one’s idea of perfect differs. You just cannot push your opinions on them because what is right for you could be wrong for someone else and that is something everyone should respect.
