Homophobia, our country is suffering from it. People laugh at the thought of a gay person, thinking, somehow it is a joke. Gay men are apparently not masculine enough and ‘lesbian’ is just reduced to the most searched category of porn. But when we step out of our cozy homes, we like to live in denial of a person who has found love in the same sex.
But it seems like things are changing for the better. With pride parades in cities like Bhopal, Delhi, Lucknow, Mumbai…the people of our beloved country are waking up to acceptance.
While I was trying to understand homophobia in our country, I stumbled upon this beautiful answer by an Indian mother, Bhuvi Jain. Ms Jain is a Quoran known for her parenting tips and this answer by her should be read by all kids and their parents.
One time long ago when I was pretty sure about the orientation of both my kids, I jokingly and very insensitively said, “Feel free to choose your life partner but I have only one condition. The boy marries a girl and the girl marries a boy.”
Both my children simultaneously asked, “Why?”
Why indeed. It was just an insensitive joke which I wouldn’t have made had I known about either child’s inclination.
With that “Why”, I realized that I carried with me the baggage of centuries of ingrained, indoctrinated nonsense that had made my thinking narrow and shallow.
“My apologies baby log”, I said.
I changed the statement to, “Feel free to choose a life partner with responsibility. Period. Caste, color, religion, sex, orientation no bar. The key word being responsibility.”
What would I have done if I had a gay son?
I love my son. His life partner would be my child. I would have another son in my family had my son been gay.
Since he is not, I have a new daughter.
The wedding would have been as celebrated and as rejoiced.
We need to learn acceptance. We need to stop making ridiculous jokes about someone’s sexual orientation because it is not funny. They are living a closet life, because we judge them for being who they are. And in our country, where knowledge is minimal and population in abundance; this acceptance needs to spread like wildfire. And it starts with us.
Think about it.
This answer was originally published on Quora. We have re-published it with the writer’s permission.