Not every father is the same but growing up under an Indian father produces results that are relatable across the board. There are typical things every Indian kid goes through that are very endemic to Indian homes.
From their strictness to their vulnerabilities while watching a cricket match, every Indian kid is filled with stories that can make anyone smile.
That’s what makes Shekhar Gupta‘s answer so interesting. He answered the question What is it like to be raised by an Indian father? on Quora and the answer is not the usual success story or the hilarious one. It’s actually a very regular one that almost everyone will relate to.
My Father was a very strict disciplinarian and controlled almost all decisions of my life until I went to a hostel in engineering to study.
I always felt my father to be a control freak who imposed his decisions on us.
So when the movie “Taare Zameen par “ came, I thought god had answered my prayers and now finally my father would know how he stifled our interests by imposing his wishes on us.
Taare Zameen par for those who do not know is a story about a dyslexic child, whose needs are neither understood by his parents nor hisalso commented how in their desires to make everybody an engineer etc the parents sometimes do not see the real qualities in a child.
Now I asked my father to see that movie and told him that he would identify how similarly he treated me and did not let my personality flourish.
My father agreed and went to watch the movie, I was eagerly waiting for him to come back.
He came back and went straight to his room, after a few minutes he came out with a blank paper. Now I was ready to pounce on him,
Me: Papa so how did you like the movie, did you see how you could have helped us, sometimes you taking decisions on our behalf does not help us.
He started looking at the paper and then handed me that blank paper
He: Draw a scenery on this paper
I was dumbfounded
He: Draw something on this paper.
Me: What does it have to do with anything.
He:”Draw something on this paper, that shows that you are as talented as he is.”
“That boy in the move was a genius and a savant and it was for anybody to see that he is gifted.I know that you are just a plain lazy rascal, who does not have any ounce of creativity in him.The only route for you to be successful is get admitted into a decent enough engineering college, which you could notlet me make the decisions for u till then and stop going in that self-pity mode of yours and study hard.”
“The day you show that you have a single creative bone in your body I would support you in pursuing that.Till then, please let me make some decisions for you.”
Me: WTH just happened???????How did the tables just turn on me?
Today am a mechanical engineer, who went into IT field, did his MBA in sustainability and then worked in factory to reduce water usage, pollution, carbon footprint etc
I am little under-confident, awkward around girls and non-assertive in meetings, but I am getting there.
I have a little awkward relationship with my father and most of the things I did till now in life was to get his approval.But slowly and steadily I have stopped blaming for everything and started making changes in my self. I try to be more confident, use humour as a tool to disperse tense situations and have started to put my points confidently.
I would never have posted this on quora but now I have. :D:D
That hit the relatability right in the feels!
Source – Quora