Relationships are not always rosy! Many unfold into abusive ones, even before it hurts, even before the realisation seeps in. But what is the definition of abusive? Is it just black eyes and bruises? Is it just girls/women at the receiving end? Have we forgotten, scratch that; have we completely ignored the middle ground? The one that vouches for equality?
There are a lot of questions and hardly any answers. But not anymore. It is time to open the dialogue and see the facts for what it is!
To help us get started here is an honest Tumblr post (by Exposing the bullshit) that answers all of the above questions with a voice, we just cannot afford to ignore anymore! A voice that exposes the hypocrisy of how girls are equally capable of using and abusing their boyfriends. Read the eye-opening piece here.
Dear teenage girls,
Stop abusing your boyfriends and yes what you are doing is abuse. Stop:
- Yelling at him in front of his friends.
- Hitting or slapping him when he does or says something you don’t like.
- Telling him he doesn’t have a choice when it comes to decisions that involve both of you.
- Telling him he can’t hang out with friends because you don’t like him.
- Telling him to not talk to other girls even if they are his friend.
- Forcing him to spend every moment with you.
- Belittling him and pointing out all his flaws.
- Calling him stupid or making fun of him for making a mistake.
- Threatening to break up with him if he doesn’t do what you want.
- Being emotionally manipulative and crying until he does what you want.
- Accusing him of cheating every time he’s not with you.
- Blow up his phone if he doesn’t text you every five minutes.
- Telling him you are the best thing that has ever happened to him and no one else will love.
- Physically attacking him whenever you are mad.
- Forcing him to have sex despite that fact that he said he didn’t want to.
- Invading his privacy by going through his phone.
- Getting mad at him for changing his password and demanding he tells you what it is.
If a guy did any of these things to a girl it would be considered abuse but since it’s the other way around its considered normal.
Throughout high school, I saw many girls treat their boyfriends like shit. Sometimes even physically abusing them in the hallways and no one trying to stop it because its a girl attacking a boy.
Boys: If your girlfriend does anything on this list leave her. It is abuse and you deserve better.
Girls: If you find yourself doing anything on this list to your boyfriend you need to knock it off because you are being abusive.
See the entire post here.
Needless to say, the piece has garnered over 290K notes (and counting), with an echoing support of like-minded people who also shared their feelings about the gap in gender equality.
1. You deserve better!
2. Because not everyone can digest the truth!
3. I know so many of them!
4. More instances…
5. Another user had many other poignant points to add!
-Controlling when he’s able to go out with friends.
-Breaking up his friendships with other girls just because you’re insecure.
-Making him feel like his opinions in decisions that affect the both of you are irrelevant and don’t matter.
–SENDING HIS NUMBER TO STRANGERS TO TEST IF HE’S LOYAL OR NOT
-Testing him in any way in general without his knowledge or permission (example: catfishing! it’s manipulative and weird don’t fucking do that)
-Taking money/credit cards without permission to spend on things without his knowledge ( had an ex-friend do this constantly to her boyfriend and she’d always condone it because “he’ll get over it” )
-Guilting him for hanging out with friends/family over you and making him choose between you and friends/family
-Telling him “you don’t love me if you *insert harmless activity he wants to do here* “
-Being rude or mean to him in front of others to assert dominance or power over him
-Downloading apps to spy on his phone activity (yes, this is a thing “”regular”” people do) or snooping on his social media to see who he’s talking to
-Hitting him, slapping him, punching him, shoving him. literally, how do people not understand slapping your male partner is bad.
Just open your eyes, doesn’t it?! Hopefully, this will help lessen the gap and sensitise people about the stark reality.