Only God’s special children are blessed with wise and human kind of bosses whereas the rest of us, spend most of our energies in just trying to understand what kind of strange personalities are always made to be the boss. One of the most favourite techniques bosses use to drag their employees to the brink of madness is by practicing the talent of saying things with meanings known only to them.
So we present to you some of the pet dialogues of bosses and their real meanings so that the next time when he is trying to fool you, you are aware and can handle his trick with wit and awesomeness.
1. I will look at it later, I’m busy right now
You are disturbing my Farmville fun. So please scoot away.
2. I want this thing done in *insert the shortest amount of time*
I don’t need the thing at all. I simply want to keep you busy in doing extra work while I intently watch cooking shows on YouTube.
3. Get well soon. Hope to see you in office by *insert the earliest day*
I want your ass back here right away. And mostly because on that particular day, I want you to drop me to the airport. Why take a cab when there is this perfectly loyal assistant that I can show off as my pet?
4. I need these changes made right away
Your work is just beyond perfect. I just want you to implement some nonsense changes so you can screw up your work because of which the other seniors don’t sanction your increment! Yea, basically I don’t like smart employees.
5. So what do you think of that other employee?
IÂ have the talent to dig out the secret stuff so IÂ can use the information to create rifts and politics.
6. Use your judgement
Do it my way or spend days reworking on the entire project.
7. Do it any time you want
I am just trying to show that that I am a considerate boss. And right after you give me the particular time you want to get the work done by, I’ll show my real colours and say, “your time is fine, but stick to my mine.”
8. Oh, you’re leaving on time today?
“Maybe his work pressure has gone down. Hey, let me add some more tasks to his project bank and set close deadlines.”
9. I used to manage all these things myself when I was new here
Worship me! Worship me!
10. Be proactive
Gossip and share your personal stuff (food and talks) so I can go ahead and start liking you. But don’t dare to concentrate and learn work because if you do that, you become the one who dislikes gossip and disliking gossip in my world is almost like a crime.
11. Give me your opinions. I love people with opinions
I just want to take the chance of saying why your opinion is nothing short of ridiculous. If not this, I want to take your opinion because I don’t have any and I need paka pakaya maal to earn credit for.
12. When he texts you “nice DP”
“I am a frustrated married man, please reply. I promise I’ll flirt in such a way that you won’t even realize what’s happening.”
To the person who coined the saying, “Boss is always right”, what were you thinking?